Waiting for a sign

Now, more than ever in my life, I feel the need to have control over everything (I have some OCD tendencies in some areas in my life) and to receive instant gratification for any hard work that I complete. Where is this coming from? Not sure, but maybe it's the realization that I've now been on the Earth for 23 years and am still waiting for my life to come together as I've always envisioned it. In other words I want to wake up in an old,cozy house with an exciting job to go to, and a loving husband to come home to after work. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing in my life? Maybe. But maybe not yet. Key word = yet; meaning now isn't the proper time to have all of those things in my life. Not at this very moment.

However, I fully believe that I'm on the right track to one day living a life filled with all of these blessings. I know this because of all the blessings that I already have in my life. None of them too small; yet, none of them too big. My blessings are just right for me. How do I know? Because God knows my heart and knows what I need in life at this moment and at every moment. While society may call some of these blessings "givens", I'm realizing more and more each day that there are no "givens" in life because things can change so easily and even some can be taken away completely.

Here are my blessings:
promises- that God loves me and has a place saved for me in Heaven
faith- that I'm saved my His grace and that He will never leave me
Holy Spirit- for speaking to me and continuing to reveal itself to me in amazing ways
family- one consisting of a vast amount of people who truly care about and love me
home- a structure filled with more memories than can be counted and the place that I'll never get tired of coming to
a job- I really do love the kids in my class and have so much fun getting to share my heart with them. Who knew that 20 four year old's could steal your heart after only 4 weeks?
opportunities- to meet people, learn new things, travel, experience new things, and the chance to make each day a little more exciting
josh- for love, friendship, fun, laughter, comfort, understanding, excitement, thoughtfulness, and for the indescribable feeling that I have in my heart every time I see/talk to him
friends-people who take time to talk to me, listen to me, really get to know me, and who I always have fun with

I was just talking to Josh about all of this, and he said something along the lines of "sometimes you just have to wait for the right signs for certain things to happen and fall into place". (If you know Josh then you probably know that he laughs a lot and doesn't ever have too much to say. However, when we turn off the tv and laptop and just look at each other to talk, he reveals so many ideas and thoughts that make me think a little deeper.) Now going back to the signs thing... I've seen plenty of signs before... What do you think that bright little sticker saying "sale" on the only pair of cute 6 1/2 size shoes on the rack of Macy's was? Duh, a sign that I needed to buy them. And what about when I passed three Starbucks this morning on the way to my training seminar? A coincidence? Duh, it was a sign that I needed to pull into the next one and order a tall no-whip mocha. (I mean, I had an extra 30 minutes to kill before my training started anyway.)

As much as I love these "signs", I know that there's a bigger, more important sign that guides my life: The Holy Spirit. This is what Josh was talking about. While I'm complaining and worrying about the things that I have not yet achieved or received, the Holy Spirit is busy preparing my heart for these blessings to come into my life. This is actually the only sign that I should be worried about seeing and it turns out that I should be less concerned with seeing it than with feeling it. So, I have to constantly keep myself in check to make sure that I'm on track with God to one day to receive the blessings that He so lovingly and generously offers.The great thing about this sign is that even though every Christian is waiting on it,  you don't have to wait in line because it's simultaneously preparing the heart of every Christian for the true glory of God.

Are you waiting on your sign?

Just what you've been waiting for...

I suppose it's time to fill you ( meaning ALL of you many viewers who anxiously await updates from this blog) in on the underlying meaning and enthusiasm that prompted me to even start another blog and name it Chapter 23. If you know me at all then you've probably convinced yourself that you've already discovered the meaning just by the pure fact that you know how old I am. Yes, I am 23 years old... Congrats to you if you thought of this! However, this fact might just be pure coincidence or rather the inner revelations of my mind. I just started thinking about numbers since I was having trouble unearthing a catchy phrase that would appropriately encompass my life at this ("this" meaning a a time coming from about a month ago) moment. While I've always been drawn to the number 15, I felt as thought it might be too common or low of a number for this grand project. 23 may have been weighing heavily on my mind from my recent celebration of birth in May upon which I marked my 23rd year or maybe because I have recited the 23rd Psalm to myself just before I go to sleep ever since I memorized it over ten years ago. This series of verses is well-known to most Christians and has always given me a sense of peace and comfort just before drifting off to sleep and in any instance that I feel uncomfortable or scared (most of which, coincidentally, happen while I'm laying in bed before drifting off to sleep). These words spoken by David remind me that I am never alone and that God is with me at all times. Who doesn't want eternal companionship and safety?

"The Lord is my Sheperd; I shall not want. 

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

He leadeth me beside the still waters. 

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil: 

for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. "

Psalms 23

Perhaps I'm trying to make my 23rd Chapter in life just as meaningful as the 23rd Chapter of Pslams. Perhaps I just want to find some way to justify my mediocre life in the eyes of myself, my family, friends, communtity, and most importantly my Savior and my God. Perhaps I think this blog will serve as an outlet for myself or, in better circumstances, an inlet to the Holy Spirit. Perhaps some posts will be pointless. Some will be fun. Some will be long and boring. Some will be nothing that you expected, but everything you wanted to know. And, perhaps, some will help you and I uncover the essence of Chapter 23. 

I realize that this post could have already knocked out the "long and boring" part, so to liven things up a bit I'll leave you with some pictures of a recent Saturday hiking trip with Josh to Suwanee Mountain. This is my attempt to jazz up that mediocre life that I mentioned previously. Thankfully, it's also a good form of exercise, has provided some bonding time for Josh and I, and has given me a chance to explore Georgia since I've recently discovered that I don't really even know that much about my home state.