Waiting for a sign

Now, more than ever in my life, I feel the need to have control over everything (I have some OCD tendencies in some areas in my life) and to receive instant gratification for any hard work that I complete. Where is this coming from? Not sure, but maybe it's the realization that I've now been on the Earth for 23 years and am still waiting for my life to come together as I've always envisioned it. In other words I want to wake up in an old,cozy house with an exciting job to go to, and a loving husband to come home to after work. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing in my life? Maybe. But maybe not yet. Key word = yet; meaning now isn't the proper time to have all of those things in my life. Not at this very moment.

However, I fully believe that I'm on the right track to one day living a life filled with all of these blessings. I know this because of all the blessings that I already have in my life. None of them too small; yet, none of them too big. My blessings are just right for me. How do I know? Because God knows my heart and knows what I need in life at this moment and at every moment. While society may call some of these blessings "givens", I'm realizing more and more each day that there are no "givens" in life because things can change so easily and even some can be taken away completely.

Here are my blessings:
promises- that God loves me and has a place saved for me in Heaven
faith- that I'm saved my His grace and that He will never leave me
Holy Spirit- for speaking to me and continuing to reveal itself to me in amazing ways
family- one consisting of a vast amount of people who truly care about and love me
home- a structure filled with more memories than can be counted and the place that I'll never get tired of coming to
a job- I really do love the kids in my class and have so much fun getting to share my heart with them. Who knew that 20 four year old's could steal your heart after only 4 weeks?
opportunities- to meet people, learn new things, travel, experience new things, and the chance to make each day a little more exciting
josh- for love, friendship, fun, laughter, comfort, understanding, excitement, thoughtfulness, and for the indescribable feeling that I have in my heart every time I see/talk to him
friends-people who take time to talk to me, listen to me, really get to know me, and who I always have fun with

I was just talking to Josh about all of this, and he said something along the lines of "sometimes you just have to wait for the right signs for certain things to happen and fall into place". (If you know Josh then you probably know that he laughs a lot and doesn't ever have too much to say. However, when we turn off the tv and laptop and just look at each other to talk, he reveals so many ideas and thoughts that make me think a little deeper.) Now going back to the signs thing... I've seen plenty of signs before... What do you think that bright little sticker saying "sale" on the only pair of cute 6 1/2 size shoes on the rack of Macy's was? Duh, a sign that I needed to buy them. And what about when I passed three Starbucks this morning on the way to my training seminar? A coincidence? Duh, it was a sign that I needed to pull into the next one and order a tall no-whip mocha. (I mean, I had an extra 30 minutes to kill before my training started anyway.)

As much as I love these "signs", I know that there's a bigger, more important sign that guides my life: The Holy Spirit. This is what Josh was talking about. While I'm complaining and worrying about the things that I have not yet achieved or received, the Holy Spirit is busy preparing my heart for these blessings to come into my life. This is actually the only sign that I should be worried about seeing and it turns out that I should be less concerned with seeing it than with feeling it. So, I have to constantly keep myself in check to make sure that I'm on track with God to one day to receive the blessings that He so lovingly and generously offers.The great thing about this sign is that even though every Christian is waiting on it,  you don't have to wait in line because it's simultaneously preparing the heart of every Christian for the true glory of God.

Are you waiting on your sign?